I think it’s a safe bet to say that Sex in romance novels is a common trait. No judging, because hello, who doesn’t love sex? And what romance reader doesn’t LIKE SEX IN BOOKS?
However, there are a few thing that make my eye twitch or have me side-eyeing the pages because, what is HAPPENING either a) is so odd that I can’t even. b) Not likely and/or comfortable c) Gross or d) all of the above.
Today I wanted to talk about a few of those things and ask y’all to share some of your most hated, cringe worthy SEX things you see in romance novels.
Sex is Messy
- You have sweat and possibly some bodily fluids and y’all are just gonna roll over and go back to sleep? Go wash yo self.
- Have time for a quicky? Awesome. You still might want to wash yo self.
- For the love of all that is HOLY, wrap the condom in some damn tissue.
- Want to experiment with different entrances? Great. GO WASH YOUR HANDS.
Eye to Eye contact
I’ve read it a lot where the couple doing the deed have this moment where they lock eyes and it’s MAGICAL. Okay well, depending on your position, this is possible. But the guy is tall and the gal is small – which happens a lot – that is not.going.to.happen. You get his chest to eye. Throat to eye. Or eye level with the wall (or I guess, if you are ON THE WALL, it could work), but it takes some serious maneuvering to meet eye to eye when there is a significant height difference. Don’t get me wrong, it IS possible but it’s not easy.
Naming the BEAST
I haven’t seen this much lately, but c’mon. Naming the Willy honest to goodness, makes me laugh.out.loud. Same goes for the female bits. It’s a VAGINA.. (granted, saying vagina during sex is not sexy) Or you can use the P word. It’s not your core. It’s not a bull’s-eye target for Willy. It is not the moist channel ( I wish I would remember what book this was from.)
You Are (not) the Boss
I can name at least 10 scenarios to which, “come for me, baby” was said. Yeah, because our bodies will SO do that for you, honey buns. *side eyes* Do your thang and do it RIGHT, Mr. McBossy.
Have you noticed that almost every male in a romance novel has a LARGE penis? Did you know, the average erect penis size is around 5.1 inches? Most men, within the 90th percentile, are around 4.7-6.4 inches. I also read a few studies that said that most women prefer average or slightly above average size because there IS such a thing as too big. In any case, I assume authors create male love interests that are well endowed due to fantasies? Not sure. But you have to wonder about size + female size + fitting(??) = pleasure or pain.
Let’s Have A Conversation
This is becoming more and more common, but the talking during sex is annoying. Sure, they say, “yes, don’t stop.” or “yeah, right there,” but I sure as hell am not going to ask you about your day. If you are able to hold a conversation during sex, something is wrong my friend.
There are many, many more but wanted to leave off here!
I Turn the Spotlight On You
- Do you agree OR disagree with anything I mentioned? Why or why not?
- What are some funny/silly/frustrating/not so realistic things you see in romance novels when it come to sex?
Share your thoughts in the comments!
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